sex

it's just a shimmy and a shake uh huh!

2005-02-07T05:38:10Z

superbowl.. what an intense game.. i was too afriad to watch it-but i did. i am very impressed with the eagles on how far they've got and their job well done. can't wait to count how many pissed off kids in school tomorrow.. if they even go.

i tried calling my dad. multiple times. two of the lines were "nonexsisting" anymore and the third (the cell) kept ringing.. i haven't heard from him since december and i'm almost positive i won't hear from him for a little bit longer. not only does that always happen but the eagles lost.. he probably went on a rampage and killed someone. he'd be too drunk to actually know what he was doing..

i went to amanda's for the game. it was just amanda, crystal, josh and me. usually alot of kids would go-but many issues were taking place in their lives. we didn't do much. i made brownies.. kinda and they ate them.. we took alot of pictures! i don't have any with me so i'll show them later.

i went home around 11.. alot earlier than i expected. now since i'm bored and feel bad for all those eagles fans my mind is somewhere else. i hate nights like these where you just fucking cry yourself to sleep. it makes me so sick.

i am so fat. i look like i gained fucking 10 lbs.

military ball

2005-01-31T11:43:29Z

it was awesome. :D
i'm glad i asked christian to go with me.

i'm glad lauren went this year... it was so much better. we all went to denny's afterwards. i came home around 230. i was completely exhausted. no drinking for us that night. we all passed out while we wondered where kristen went. she came back to my house at 4am.

saturday i went to the mall and barnes and noble with the girls. didn't stay out that long. around 1140 i went to christian's house. mike was drunk.. it was too hilarious. we all talked and it was fun. :D
i went home at 130.

got to go.. i'll try to write later<3333

darling you give loove a bad name.

2005-01-18T04:03:34Z

hey kidss

i went to the mall today to find a dress for the military ball. i finally found one i kinda liked after hours and hours of looking and tears. tears cause the fat i have.

i was dateless for a bit-twice. so i asked my friend christian. real sweet. he said yeah so i'm looking forward to spending the night with him. i'm sure it will be fun. :D

must go now. too tired.
chowxxx

alright alrightttt.

2005-01-08T05:56:28Z

today was alright.
that's all i have to say.

我愛你 (i love you)

make my heart attack.

2005-01-07T11:36:31Z

hey there.

long time no write. alot has happened since the last entry. -shakes head- gawd yeah alot has happened then..

skip school.. who does that? psh, the girls and i are skipping today. i'm craving a certain food and i can't cook. gah. i'm making the girls cook for me. yeah, dude, they can cook.. if it's the morning.. i'm not sure if all of them are like amanda and falls asleep and burns the muffins. ah haha. amanda and i had a good laugh. good laugh.

anyhoodies.

write later. bye.

in a dream my love.. you will find my heart<3

2004-12-22T19:44:33Z

yesterday was my birthdayy!! =) yeah i'm still sick and i'm out of school til the 3rd of January. i do miss it already. i went to the doctors yesterday and he gave me alot of medicine -makes face- ew. because of my mom and her big mouth she goes to the doctor "please tell her that she is not fat" ugh! yeah of course i started to cry... he thought i was bullemic - ahhh hahahahaa. no i'm sorry but i'd rather sit here and cry about my weight than to make myself sick and make me look even uglier.

the medicine makes me so tired. it's ruining my days and nights.

my mom mom gave me a ring with my birthstone and diamonds on the sides.. really cute. my brother gave me a card and sweaters with scarfs! =) and my mommy came over with my kid and stepdad. she gave me money and we had well they had cake... right after i blew the candles out my dad called. my heart just sank... i haven't heard his voice in... so long. holding back my tears i talked to him for about 20 minutes.

alittle later lauren came over =) i was so happy to finally see her.. it's been days! she made me an elmo at build a bear<3.. we sat down in my living room just talking about alot of things and what was going through our minds. my cell phone was upstairs and we heard it ring so we both went upstairs and i missed it but they called again. it was jason.. he said "are you going to answer your door anytime soon?" and i'm like "what?"... jason was outside my door with ajay and chris. we all kinda just hung out in my room then we went to wendys. i saw matthew!!!!!! and jamerssss!!! i was ecstatic. i came home around 1030 or something. little later sean stopped by and gave me a present.

my birthday party isn't til after christmas.. it would've been too hectic.

i'll write about more later.. gotta go sorry

this is side one, flip me over.. i know i'm not your favorite record

2004-12-20T12:31:36Z

life sucks. i'm still sick. last night i didn't get any sleep. i watched 3 movies- Harry Potter 3, Angels in the Outfield, and Rookie of the Year. afterwards i did laundry... got ecstatic to see all my express clothes. yeah i know.. i'm a dork for missing my clothes. but i just love them. it was about 415 when i came upstairs from drying my clothes and i had nothing to do except lay in the dark or go on the computer. russel was on so i talked to him til almost 5. i went back under my covers and laid there til it was time for school. i went to go straighten my hair and tried to get dressed etc. and i just didn't feel well.. my mommy called not too long after and said she's making an appointment for me. alright. doctor time.. thank god.. i think. i relaxed and talked to my two babies- lauren and eric til they had to leave me for school. i was commenting on lauren's journal when suddenly i felt this.. horrible feeling in my stomach and throat. yeah i got sick. enough already!!!! *cries* i started shaking and now my head is throbbing. DAMN IT! what the fuck did i do to deserve being this sick?

yeah i already know about dallas. why wouldn't i? i don't wanna hear it from you philadelphia fans. you know... you fucking KNOW dallas basically had that game. you fucking broke my heart philly. i wanted dallas to win for my birthday. </3

well.. tomorrow is my birthday. yay! i can tell it's not going to be a good one though... i'm sick as anything. =(

i need to lay down again. write later-sorry

i can't pick of the pieces. i've thrown my words all around.. i can't give you a reason.

2004-12-17T05:10:59Z

still sick and stuck on antihistamine. sweet huh? yeahh riight. thank god for another comfy set of afjrotc sweat...wear. =) and did you hear!? two chances of snow this weekend and next week. let's hope it snows much. a white birthday and a white christmas! oh! and let's go cowboys on the 19th eh? couldn't be a better birthday... hopefully i won't be sick though. we'll see, we'll see...

yeah so.. i'm sure you kids heard about the solider who had his cousin shoot his leg or foot whatever it was so he didn't have to go back to iraq. what a dork. him and his cousin had two different stories... if you're gonna do something like that make sure you have the same story.. it ticks me off. i was just bitching to my mom about that not too long ago. ma said that the guy was probably in shock seeing his buddies get killed etc. and didn't wanna go back cause it was hard for him to take.. yeah well.. i'm a very emotional chick but i'd still go back if i was in shock or whatever... going into the service you're going to expect something like that... or at least from seeing this country the past years... some soldiers are only in the services for the benefits.. shouldn't that.. not be allowed?... in a way?... i don't know i give up talking about this. *hold head* ... what... a... dork.

lerla.. i don't know what to say..

my mind has settled upon blankness. the remedy isn't really working-go figure.. right? the excruciating pain still flows around my eyes and ears. yeah i could easily request to be shot right now... preposterous thinking. my throat is swore and i can barely swallow.. as i stated in the before entry... it chokes me.

yeah... there's lemon hot tea downstairs calling my name.. i'm gonna go talk to that shit. could possibly make me feel better. =)

oh! by the way... christmas shopping is hell =/

note to self i miss you terriblyy.

2004-12-16T19:41:29Z

so i'm home sick. what the hell. i hate it. i can't eat cause i can't swallow... not only does it hurt but it chokes me. yeah.. whatever. my head is still killing me and all i've been doing is taking medicine.. to much antihistamine... always sleeping.

i got my new cell phone. i love it. it's a flippy.. i thought i'd never decide to get one of them. it's a color screen and i downloaded "addicted" as my ring tone. i'm all set<3

5 more days<3
9 more days</3.............

yeah.. christmas is basically here... yay i guess. not to ecstatic for it this year.. or any year of that matter... many reasons why. i don't wanna say publicly.

i miss the summer.. alot... </33

i need another nap... here's 2 surveys i did from boredom...

(1) Your gender: Female
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: Straight
(3) Single?: No
(4) Want to be?: No
(5) Your birth day: December 21
(6) Age you act: Depends
(7) Age you wish you were: 21
(8) Your height: 5'
(9) The color of your eyes: They change… Blue/Green/Grey
(10) Happy with it?: Sure
(11) The color of your hair: Blonde
(12) Happy with it?: Yea
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: Right

(14) Your living arrangement?: I live with my grandparents, older brother and his girlfriend
(27) Your family: Is big… A total Romeo and Juliet experience… kinda
(29) What's your job: Didn’t start yet--
(30) Piercings?: Two 1/2
(31) Tattoos?: Give me 5 days
(32) Obsessions?: Music/Simple Plan/Pierre, my cell phone, idk
(35) Do you speak another language? Oui, Francais
(36) Have a favorite quote? “dude…” etc
(37) Do you have a webpage?: no

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: I think so
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: yeah
(40) Do you have any secrets?: Not anymore
(41) Do you hate yourself?: Yes
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: I don't care for it
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: I’m lazy.. Never do anything myself almost.
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: Looks. Personality.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Because you were forced to watch...
(46) What's your biggest fear?: gaining weight, being alone, now death’s apart of it, and losing someone
(47) Can you sing: So I’m told
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: No
(49) Are you a loner?: No
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Probably not
(52) Are you a daredevil?: Yeah
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Yes, everything

(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: I don’t know
(55) Have you got a ?: I always do
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness? I could always put a smile on?
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: Just one thing? Damn it…
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Love
(59) How do you vent?: I cry and break things
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: No not at all
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: It could’ve been better
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Never give up on anything. You’re putting up with it for a reason
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: lol
(65) And least?: everything
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: nope
(67) Are you confident?: nah
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: none.. I’m unique
(69) Do people know how you feel?: empathy? Yeah I got that
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: No

DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: No
(72) Do drugs?: No
(73) Read the newspaper?: No
(74) Pray?: Sometimes
(75) Go to church? Not lately
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: Yea, their assholes from twp.
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: Mhm
(78) Take walks in the rain?: Yes
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: Yes
(80) Drive?: Yea
(81) Like to drive fast?: Yes

HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: Once
(83) Hurt yourself?: Yes
(84) Been out of the country?: No… but I will be.
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: Not sure
(86) Burped?: Yea
(87) Been unfaithful?: I hate that
(88) Been in love?: Yes
(89) Done drugs?: No
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: Yeah
(92) Had a surgery?: No
(93) Ran away from home?: Yes
(94) Played strip poker: No
(95) Gotten beaten up?: Nope
(97) Been picked on?: Of course..
(98) Been on stage?: Yes
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: Um, no.
(100) Slept outdoors?: Yeah ugh
(101) Thought about suicide?: Yes
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: Yea
(103) If yes, what is your record?: 24 hours or so..
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: Yeah
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Yea
(107) Slept all day?: Yeah I can do that shitt
(108) Killed someone?: No
(109) Made out with a stranger?: No
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: No
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: Yes
(112) Kissed the same sex?: I pecked the same sexxx
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex? No
(114) Been betrayed?: Yea
(115) Had a dream that came true?: Yes
(116) Broken the law?: Yes
(117) Met a famous person?: Yes!! =)
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Yes
(146) Stolen anything?: Yes
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: No
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: Haha
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: Yes
(150) Considered religious vocation?: No
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: No
(152) Bungee jumped?: No, But I want to.
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: Yeah

CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: DC, converse
(155) Brand of clothing?: Pac Sun, Express
(156) Cologne/perfume?: Lilu, Tommy Hilfiger, Eddie Bauer, Clinque
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: Something I think is cute for that day
(159) Wear hats?: yea. I love hats.
(161) Wear make-up?: Have to
(162) Favorite place to shop?: Pac Sun, Express
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: Socks
(164) Are you trendy?: Am I trendy?
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: Sometimes

BELIEFS
(166) Believe in life on other planets?: Yes
(167) Miracles?: Yes
(168) Astrology?: Yes
(169) Magic?: Yes
(170) God?: Yes
(171) Satan?: Yes
(172) Santa?: Mhmm
(173) Ghosts?: Yes
(174) Luck?: Yes
(175) Love at first sight?: No
(176) Yin and Yang?: Yes
(177) Witches?: Yes
(178) Easter bunny?: No
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: No
(181) Do you wish on stars?: All the time

LOVE, and all that
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: Yes and no
(183) Do you remember your first love?: Yes
(184) Still love him/her?: Yes
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: No
(186) What do you find romantic?: I don’t know
(187) Turn-on?:
(188) Turn-off?:
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: No
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: Tortured....
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: knowing someone
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: I don’t care
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: No
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: Some, not alot
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: I don’t remember
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: I don’t know
(207) What's the last present someone gave you? My new cell phone.. 2 days ago<3
(208) Are you in love?: Yes
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: I hate that word
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: Am I supposed to do something? I’d let the kid stand there

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?: Christian
(212) You wanted to kill?: Mark
(213) That you laughed at?: Myself
(214) That laughed at you?: Everybody
(215) That turned you on?: Eric
(216) You went shopping with?: Ma
(217) That broke your heart?: Christian
(218) To disappoint you?: My dad
(219) To ask you out?: Eric
(220) To make you cry?: Myself
(221) To brighten up your day?: Lauren
(222) That you thought about?: Lauren cause I just typed her name
(223) You saw a movie with? Ma
(224) You talked to on the phone?: Eric
(225) You talked to through IM?: Chris, Ajay, Kristen
(226) You saw?: Ma
(227) You lost?: Christian
(229) You thought was completely insane?: Me
(230) You wanted to be?: Jessica Simpson or a real life Barbie
(231) You told off?: Aisha
(232) You trusted?: Everyone
(233) You turned down?:

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: Last night
(235) Laughed?: Yesterday (I’m sick)
(236) Cried?: Yesterday
(237) Bought something?: 2 days ago
(238) Danced?: In my room.
(239) Were sarcastic?: Last night
(240) hugged someone?: Last night
(241) Talked to an ex?: Last night
(242) Watched your fave movie?: Last night
(243) Had a nightmare?: forever ago
(245) Talked on the phone?: 6 in the morning
(246) Listened to the radio?: Yesterday
(247) Watched TV?: I avoid that
(248) Went out?: 2 days ago
(249) Helped someone?: Yesterday
(250) Were mean?: Yesterday
(251) Sang?: Today
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: 2 months ago
(253) Said "I love you"?: This morning
(254) Missed someone?: Right now
(255) Fought with a family member?: before I got sick
(256) Fought with a friend?: we don’t fight.. We talk upsettingly but.. Not for a while now
(257) Had a serious conversation?: last night
(258) Got drunk?: lol

[x] whats your name? Brielle Nicole St.Clair
[x] how old? Sweet sixteen
[x] siblings? Two brothers - Adam (oldest), Kevin (a little kid I call my own), and a step sister Sabrina
[x] their ages: 18, 4, 10
[x] female Or male: female
[x] birthday: December 21
[x] natiOnality: French, Japanese and German

[x] Birthplace: Voorhees, Nj
[x] Current [[currently in]]: Washington Township High School
[x] Eye Color: Blue/Green/Grey
[x] Hair Color: Blondee
[x] Righty or Lefty: Righty
[x] Zodiac Sign: Sag
[x] Innie or Outtie: innie

[[-----------------DESCRIBE------------------]]
[x] The shoes you wore today: None today.. Just socks.. Home sick
[x] your eyes: bright and blue filled with happiness- haha
[x] Your fears: gaining weight, losing people, death

[[-----------------WHAT IS------------------]]
[x] Your most overused phrase on aim: dude, haha, lol
[x] Your thoughts when you first wake up: school
[x] The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: eyes
[x] Your best physical feature: I don’t know
[x] Your bedtime: whenever i want
[x] Your most missed memory: The nights with the buttercutters

[[-----------------YOU PREFER------------------]]
[x] Pepsi or coke: Pepsi
[x] McDonald's or Burger King: McDonalds
[x] Cappuccino or coffee: both

[[-----------------DO YOU------------------]]
[x] Smoke: no
[x] Cuss: no not a fucking bit
[x] Take a shower everyday: yes
[x] Have a crush(es): more than a crush
[x] Who are they: he knows
[x] Do you think you've been in love?: yes
[x] Want to go to college: yes
[x] Want to get married: yes
[x] Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: no
[x] Believe in yourself: haha, funny
[x] Get motion sickness: no
[x] Think you're attractive: no
[x] Think you're a health freak: not.. Really…
[x] Get along with your parents: yea
[x] Like thunderstorms: yes
[x] Play an instrument: flute, piano, I try to play the acoustic

[[------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU--------------]]
[x] Go to the mall: yes.. yesterday
[x] Eaten sushi: No but I need too.. Pierre’s favorite
[x] Been on stage: yes
[x] Been dumped: yes
[x] Gone skating: yes
[x] Made homemade cookies: yup yup
[x] Been in love: yes
[x] Dyed your hair: no
[x] Stolen anything: yes

[[-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------]]
[x] Flown on a plane: yup
[x] Missed school because it was raining?: no
[x] Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: yes
[x] Cried during a Movie?: yea
[x] Ever thought an animated character was hot?: haha yeahh
[x] Cut your hair: yes
[x] Had crush on a teacher?: no
[x] Played a game that required removal of clothing?: nope
[x] Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: lol
[x] Been caught "doing something": no
[x] Been called a tease: yea… all guys say that
[x] Gotten beaten up ?: no

[[-----------------------OPPOSITE SEX--------------------------]]
[x] notice first? eyes
[x] have a BF/GF? yes
[x] wut u into??
[x] any specific kind of guy/ghurl you into? Someone who loves me
[x] feelin anyone? yes
[x] been rejected? all the time
[x] ever rejected sumone? yes
[x] broken someones heart? yes
[x] ever been heart broken? yes
[x] if so how many times?
[x] how many ppl of da opposite sex is in your buddy list on AIM right now? 45/134

[x] been kissed recently?? yes
[x] from who? eric
[x] Best eye color: blue
[x] Best hair color: light
[x] Best height: tall

[[-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------]]
[x] Number of drugs taken illegally: no illegal shit
[x] Number of people I could trust with my life: 12
[x] Number of CDs that I own: a whole store
[x] Number of piercings: 2 1/2
[x] Number of tattoos: technically 2 in 5 days
[x] Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: I don’t remember
[x] Number of scars on my body: enough
[x] Number of things in my past that I regret: plenty

[[----------------FAVORITES------------------]]
[x] Shampoo: Dove
[x] Fav Color(s): almost all
[x] Day/Night: Night
[x] Summer/Winter: both
[x] Lace or Satin: satin
[x] Fave Cartoon Character: Mickey
[x] Fave Food: rice
[x] Fave Movies: Coyote Ugly, more
[x] Fave sport: soccer, football. lacrosse

[[------------------RIGHT NOW------------------]]
[x] Wearing: rotc sweatshirt/sweatpants, sockers
[x] Drinking: nothing
[x] Thinking about: how life’s a dick
[x] Listening to: MCS - Thrown Down

[[---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------]]
[x] Cried: yes
[x] Worn jeans: yesterday
[x] Met someone new online: my friends from myspace
[x] Done laundry: yes
[x] Drove a car: not in 24 hrs
[x] Talked on the phone: yes

[[-------------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------ ]]
[x] Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: yes
[x] Do you like anyone?: no, love
[x] Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: We all act alike
[x] Who have you known the longest of your closest friends?: Lauren, Kristen, Steph, Amanda, Crystal, Josh
[x] Are you close to any family member?: my older brother Adam
[x] Who do you hang around the most?: Lauren, Kristen, Steph, Amanda, Crystal, Josh, Eric, Stefan, Pat, Pothead, Joey, Ashley, more
[x] When have you cried the most: let’s not talk about it
[x] What's the best feeling in the world?: loving someone and being loved back
[x] Worst Feeling?: losing someone you love either in relationship or death

[[--------------------OTHERS--------------------]]
[x] ever fallen for a friend? yes
[x] ever dated someone out of your school? yea
[x] whats your fav. music video?: addicted - simple plan
[x] you are___? sick
[x] you know anyone that is feeling you right now?? yea

[[----------------RANDOMNESS-------------------]]
[x] i love to____with people? Be
[x] what are the last 4 digits of yur phone #? House- 5592 Cell- 4421
[x] what was the last thing you ate? nadda
[x] the last person u talked on the phone with? Eric
[x] favorite drink? Don’t really have one
[x] the last movie that you saw? Christmas story
[x] hugs or kisses? both
[x] what book are u readin? I’m done
[x] the loudest person you know: lol I think me and crystal are
[x] car: Toyota Celica
[x] best friends: Lauren, Kristen, Steph, Amanda, Crystal, Josh, Eric, Stefan, Pat, Matt, Joe

he whispers that he loves her but she's probably only looking for sss

2004-12-14T04:47:07Z

i'm looking for backstage passes to a Simple Plan concert for me and 3 other kids.. if you see any PLEASE let me know. please.

i passed out pretty early last night.. took medicine with antihistamine in it and it knocked me out. woke up this morning late and i had to rush to get ready.. ugh i hate that. came into school and wished i stayed home. wasn't feelin' too great. i stayed there til about 4.. i had detention.. saw that whore.. said something to her and left. no i'm not done with her. she's gonna hear it from me later. i came home and went to my cell phone place to get a new phone.. they closed the store down.. alright.. gotta wait for tomorrow then.. i really didn't feel like going all the way to deptford at that time. i needed medicine and it was freezing outside. it pissed me off. yeah.. anyhoodies.. didn't do much today.. i did this survey thinger.. it's long.. i didn't think too much about it.. i'll do one later that's more.. exact and shit. but i gotta go.. the meds are whoa-ing me.

What is your favorite..
gum: any! =)
restaurant: denny’s, friendly’s, outback
drink: pepsi
season: fall/summer
type of weather: sunny =)
emotion: ecstatic
thing to do on a half day: mm.. Tomorrow’s a half day! Go shopping
late-night activity: mess with my journal
sport: soccer, football, lacrosse
city: paris
store: express, pac sun

When was the last time you..
cried: last night
played a sport: forever ago
laughed: about an hour ago
hugged someone: after school
kissed someone: after school
felt depressed: don’t I always?
felt elated: today
felt overworked: all day today
faked sick: never do I have to

What was the last..
word you said: yeah
thing you ate: can’t remember
song you listened to: addicted-simple plan<3
thing you drank: pepsi
place you went to: the cell phone place.. Which was closed up.. What dorks.
movie you saw: beautiful girls
movie you rented: don’t even remember
concert you attended: last Saturday Motion City Soundtrack/Tsunami Bomb

Who was the last person you..
hugged: eric
cried over: eric
kissed: eric
danced with: ..
shared a secret with: lauren
had a sleepover with: lauren
called: eric
went to a movie with: don’t even remember
saw: my brother
were angry with: this whore
couldn't take your eyes off of: eric
obsessed over: pierre

Have you ever..
danced in the rain: haha yeah it was amazing
kissed someone: yeah
done drugs: no
drank alcohol: haha yeah
slept around: no.
partied 'til the sun came up: of course
had a movie marathon: yeah kinda..
gone too far on a dare: no
spun until you were immensely dizzy: ack.. yeah
taken a survey quite like this before: yeah

Full name: Brielle Nicole St.Clair
Nicknames: brie, bitch, little blonde chick, cutie, smiles, gargantuan, pigeon, pretzel, bee-L, bite size, pocket size, fun size, umm any more Stefan and kids? haha
Sex: feeeeeemale
Age: sixteen candless
Birthday: December twenty-first baby<3
Birth place: Voorhees
Current residence: Turnersville/Washington Twp.
Zodiac Sign: Sag.
Parents names: Denise and Ron
Sibling's names and ages: Adam - 18, Kevin - 3, (step) Sabrina - 9
Pets: (dogs) Otis-pug and Rags-yorkie (cats) Sarah-long gray hair (bird) Hope-dove

Favorites: spending time with everybody
Colors: blue, black, pink, gray, and well.. Almost every color
Animals: a kitty cat
Cartoon Characters: the simpsons, the fairly oddparents, and mickey
Actresses: Britt Murphy
Actors: Ashton Kutcher
Movies: Coyote Ugly<3, Mean Girls!
Types of music:
Bands/Groups/Singers/Rappers/whatever: Simple Plan, Pierre Bouvier<3, Usher
CDs: Simple Plan
Authors: Stephen King
Video games: GTA
Computer games: n/a
Foods: mommy’s spaghetti
Ice creams: cookies and cream, strawberry, vanilla
Cookies: sugar
Veggies: carrot
Fruits: apples, strawberries, almost any
Candies: starbursts and skit skitz!! (skittles)
Beverages: pepsi, starbucks<3
Cereals: cee-wah! Haha cheerios!
Websites: live journal.com and myspace.com
Music videos: Simple Plan
Gum: any
Pizza toppings: plain, pepperoni
Fast food joints: mickeyd’s
Fast food meals: mickeyd’s fries
Pig out foods: um, ew
Restaurant: same as further up
Outfits: express and pac sun stuffs
Stores: express, pac sun
Sports: soccer, football, lacrosse
Athletes: ..
Numbers: 3,16,21
Letters: B
Breakfast foods: none
Lunches: rarely
Dinners: slim fast or whatever mom makes
Comedians: many
Shampoos: Dove<3
Magazines: YM, Teen People, Seventeen

Love Life
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yeah
If so, who are they?: eric
Do you love them?: mhm
How long have you been dating?: almost 2 months
Do you have a crush?: him
Would you rather be single or taken right now?: taken
How many people have you dated this past year?: one
How many people have you kissed in your life?:
How many people have you said "I love you too" and meant it?:
If you didn't mean it, why did you say it?:
Have you ever had a hard time getting over someone?: yes.
Are you friends with your ex/exes?: some
Have you ever cheated on someone?: no
Have you ever been cheated on?: ehh
what's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?: romantic? Ha.
What do you look for in your ideal mate?: personality mostly
Biggest Turn-ons: ..
Turn-offs: ..
Best quote to sum up love: anything from Romeo and Juliet

Morals/Beliefs
What religion are you?: Christian
Do you got to church regularly?: used to
What do you think happens when you die?: I die, I go to heaven
Do you believe in God?: mhm
Satan?: mhm
Angels?: mhm, I have some<33
Heaven?: mhm
Hell?: mhm
What do you think of abortion?: horrible..
Suicide?: yeah I thought of it.. It’s not good
Flag burning?: ew. Fuckers.
War?: war
Pop music?: sure

What Did You Do...
Last weekend?: concert and walked south st.
Yesturday?: I was getting sick.. Took meds and passed out
Your last birthday?: I can’t think of my last birthday.. All I can think of is the one birthday I had a couple years ago.. Erm.. Let’s go dallas..
New Years Eve?: lol I was with the girls and we were too loud.. A cop came and I sweet talked us out of it
Valentines Day?: </3
Easter?: wildwood babyy
4th of July?: fireworks
Halloween?: go out
Thanksgiving?: get disgusted
Christmas Eve?: stay up til at least 2 then go to sleep
Christmas Day?: open presents, go out

What do you think you'll be doing in...
A week from now?: Christmas I think
A month from now?: getting ready for the military ball
A year from now?: working in a nice placee
5 years from now?: don’t ask me
10 years from now?: -
20 years from now?: -
50 years from now?: -

This or That
Chocolate or Vanilla?: Vanilla
Mom or Dad?: Mommy
Blonde or Brunette?: Blonde
Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon?: Nick
Spicy or Minty gum?: Minty
Heaven or Hell?: Heaven
Nsync or Backstreet Boys?: Backstreet Boys<3
The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?: The Beatles<33
Boys or Girls?: Boys (I don’t get along with girls)
France or England?: France<3
Cookies or Cake?: hahaahahaha.. cakee
Flower or Candy?: Candy
Doctors or Dentist?: Doctors

Ever Been Called...
Dumb?: yea
Retarted?: yea
Ugly?: yea
Hot?: yea
Fat?: yea
Anorexic?: yea
A waste of space?: no
Useless?: yea
Sexy?: yea
Smelly?: no
A Slut?: yea
Beautiful?: yea
Smart?: yea
Quiet?: no
Boring?: no
A Bitch?: haha yea
Rebel?: no that’s kristen-lol
Conceited?: no

Currently
What are you wearing?: boy short undies, t-shirt, live strong bracelet
Who are you talking to?: no one
How is the weather?: il fait froid!!!!
What are you listening to?: simple plan
What/Who are you thinking about?: Pierre since you asked what I was listening to
What are you eating/drinking?: nothing
What are you looking forward to?: tomorrow.. Half day.. New cell phone
What are you dreading?: Thursday-uniform wear
How are you feeling?: sick
How is your hair?: a little wet still
What time is it?: gah, 11:01
What are you annoyed by?: something..

Emotions
What emotion do you feel the most?: happy/depressed
What emotion is the best?: happy
Worst?: depressed
What songs make you cry?: many
What movies make you cry?: many
What always cheers you up?: my friends
What make you madder than anything?: a couple things
What hurts you the most?: myself
Which person always makes you happy? Too many- I love you Lauren, the girls, and family
Depressed?: my dad
Are you a really emotional person?: mhm
What do you do when you're depressed?: cry, sleep
What song do you think was written about your life?: “Welcome to My Life”-Simple Plan

When Was The Last Time You..
Burped?: on the phone with eric
Kissed?: after school
Went to the movies?: 2 months ago I think..
Went out to eat?: saturday
Cried?: last night
Got dumped?: a whileee agoo
Dumped someone?: a while ago
Threw up?: not too long ago
Went skating?: not for a bit
Went for a walk?: I don’t know
Ate ice cream?: Friday
Got into a fight?: today

ThreeThings

3 things you enjoy doing
1. going out with my friends
2. dancingg
3. laughing

3 things you want to try
1. driving a Skyline<3
2. try out for a play
3. to lose weight

3 people you love
1. lauren
2. eric
3. my brothers- my families

3 foods you are addicted to
1. mommy’s spaghetti
2. cheerios
3.

3 things you hate
1. me
2. myself
3. i

3 shows you watched when you were little
1. salute your shorts!
2. gullah gullah island
3. Scooby doo

3 things you regret
1. i
2. don’t
3. know

3 songs that you love
1. addicted - Simple Plan
2. anything by Simple Plan
3. i love too many songs

3 things you always say
1. dude
2. anyhoodies
3. pierre

3 things you are looking forward to
1. military ball
2. Simple Plan concert
3. Meeting Pierre.. Again<3333333333333333

Which One Are You?:
Super hero: spiderman
Powerpuff girl: bubbles
Rugrat: tommy
Carebear: cheer bear
Teenage Mutan Ninja Turtle: the orange one! Michaelangelo?
Crayon color: any.. They’re pretty and they smell awesome

What song reminds you of...
Your childhood?: I’d rather not
Your significant other?: Addicted/I’d do anything - Simple Plan
Your crush?: ^
Your ex?: break stuff- Limp Bizkit
Your mom?: mama - Spice Girls
Your dad?: that good charlotte song I can never sing
Your best friend?: almost everything!

Issues
Do you do drugs?: no
Do you have a mental disablity?: is being depressed considered a mental disability?
Are you on any medication for any type of disorder?: kinda
What kind?: antis
What kinds of illnesses run in your family?: cancer

Who was the last person you...
Talked to?: eric
Yelled at?: eric
Kissed?: eric
Hugged?: eric
Went out to eat with?: the family
Flirted with?: eric
Talked to on the phone?: eric
IMed?: jerry
E-Mail?: no
Got flowers from?: Lauren’s parents last year
Made love to?: whoa..
Danced with?: almost everyone at the mb
Fought with?: eric
Wanted to kill?: this slut
Cried over?: eric
Thought about?: eric

Are you...
Understanding?: yea
Pretty?: no
Nice?: yea
A bitch?: haha yea
Hard to get?: no
Confident?: no
Depressed?: yea
Hyper?: yea
Popular?: idn
Friendly?: yea
Sexy?: no
Hungry?: no
Original?: yea
Shy?: no
Emotional?: yea
Messy?: yea
Immature?: if I wanna be
Sad?: yea
Trusting?: yeah
Healthy?: I don’t think so
Sleepy?: yea
Lonely?: no
Independent?: sorta
Romantic?: I wanna be

Top five men:
1. eric
2. Pierre Bouvier
3. Ashton
4. Josh Hartnett
5. Bam

Top five women:

1. Lauren
2. Kristen
3. Amanda
4. Steph
5. Crystal

Top 5 Movies

1. Mean Girls<3
2. The new guy (only during the credits) ya.. You know.. Pierre<33
3. Coyote Ugly
4. Cruel Intentions
5. Legally Blonde 1+2
6. Dirrrty Dancingg

Top 10 music groups:
1. Simple Plan<333
2. Senses Fail
3. Yellowcard
4. Underoath
5. From Autumn to Ashes
6. Motion City Soundtrack
7. Evanescence
8. All American Rejects
9. Early November
10. Spice Girls

[first things first]

first name: brielle
middle name: nicole
like highschool: yeah.. sure
favorite color: blue, black, pink any
favorite place: wildwood<3
favorite food: mom’s spaghetti
favorite scent: lilu
cell phone?: mine

[so unpretty]

hair color: blonde
hair texture: softtt and smooth
hair length: not long not short
wish your hair was: short and choppy and darker
eye color: blue/green/gray (changes)
eye shape: like a football.. Yeah.. It’s called a stigmatism
skin: I’m asian<33 nah dude =( I’m white
height: 5’1 maybe 5
weight: no
cup size: B
best feature: nothing
perfume: lilu
shampoo: dove
jewelry: live strong bracelet
piercings: ears, lip
wanted piercings: hard to explain
tattoos: stars on hips

grades: eh

favorite band: simple plan
favorite song: addicted
radio station on: y100 or 96.5 =)
something you miss: Pierre
something you want: Simple Plan backstage passes!!! =/
something you cherish: Pierre
something you hate: besides me? Those twp. sluts
something you lost and never found: this mood ring.. I think my brother gave it to a chick a while back or something..
something you’ve lost many times: ..

your bedroom: Simple Plan
bed size: I don’t know
describe your bed spread: blue and white lines.. Tommy hil
color of your walls: they’re wood.. I don’t like it
have a tv: yeah
have a radio: yea
stuffed animals on your bed: yeah Danny<3 Fella, and Kitty
how many pillows: Kitty is a pillow and one other one
do you like your bedroom: no
do you have a big closet: ehhh
what position are you in when you first go to sleep: on my tummy
what position are you in when you first wake up: either on my tummy or side
is your bed comfortable: yea
what's under your bed: too much stuff
favorite thing about your room: my bed

your childhood.
did you always get your way: yeah I think so
did you have any pets: yeah
your favorite toy: barbies
did you have a special blanket: Danny is kinda a blanket
GI joes or barbies: barb
did you wear underwear with the days of the week: haha yeah! They were cute
did you wear your underwear in the right places: yeah
did you think there were monsters in your closet or under your bed: nah dude
what about geese: no
were you scared of the dark: I kinda still am if there’s a mirror around
did you have boyfriends/girlfriends: haha yea
favorite friend when you were little: amanda
did you go to the zoo or the circus: yea
did you think ninja turtles really lived in the sewer: still do!
did you build snowmen: yup.. I also built an igloo with my dad one year
did you have really bad hair cuts: no
if a fat person knocked you over what would you do next: cry and say “that’s me in 5 years”
wasn't the pink power ranger awesome: no she was queer
what's the weirdest dream you've ever had? I had this dream at least 4 times.. I remember it clearly.. I don’t wanna talk about it
what are you scared of: mirrors in the dark, being alone
do you have a disposal in your kitchen: yeah that noisy son of a bitch?
what's your great grandmother's name: gardner?
what's something you can't qet enough of: Simple Plan
what do you wish you were doing now: sleeping
future kid's names: Pierre Michael
how do you control your anger: break stuff =/
how do you relieve your stress: break stuff or sleep
do you workout: try to without crying
cuss: yea
drink: yea
smoke: no
are you a strong person: I think so
do you like to burn candles: yea
how many candles are in your room: manyy
what's your dream car: my car! Toyota celica<3333333333333
what do you wish your room looked like: something different than this.. Something wild and crazyy
ever been burglarized: no
how many lights are in your house: too many
how many phones are in your house: too many
ever been to a tim mcgraw concert: no
what about britney or christina: no
what about backstreet boys or nsync: nope =(

first comes heavy breathingg

2004-12-12T07:10:47Z

today was awesome. lauren, kristen, steph, and i went to the motion city soundtrack concert this afternoon in south philly. twas very awesome. =) the girls and i of course went crazy. i hurt my arm.. so now my whole arm hurts! before only a part of it hurt where stefan bit me. hah. anyhoodies. my cell phone was.. well.. let's just say that the cell phone itself moshed. =/ it is alright though! i just took my chip and put it into my moms phone until later today.. i'll be getting a new phone! =) back to the story-afterwards we went walking and shopping on south st. and then just left. i made them listen to simple plan on the way there and back.. 2 and a half times we listened to the whole cd. great? yeah i know! pierre<333

we went to denny's with the boys and came back to my house. we watched of course what we only watch.. mean girls and drawn together. they left pretty early.. around 11ish.

alyssa (my brother's girlfriend) moved in tonight. she just settled down. my brother had a bad day today so i was hugging him for a while.

i'm talking about a whole bunch of stuff.. i apologize. i'm too hyper over nothing but every other second i'm exhausted.. it's weird.. yeah i'm gonna.. like.. go.. hahaahahahahahaha.. write later

no i'm not drunk tonight

come stand a little bit closer-breathe in and get a bit higher

2004-12-07T03:43:32Z

so today was "the sunday" before school started again.. very boring and feeling sick of the week that finally just past. yeah alot of bad things happened but i'd say that the good out done it. =) good.. eh? yeah perfect.

i'm sitting here on the phone with kristen and mandar and kristen kept saying "hold on" and she'd click over but kept getting us.. so just being.. you know.. the normal stupid self- i pretended to be someone random.. i couldn't think of anything to say before i opened my mouth.. i said what came to my mind that second.. i was also choking on my words i don't even know why i kept talking but yeah.. anyhoodies.. here it is..

me-hi my name is courtney from shoprite i'm just calling to tell you that um..uh..we have uh..condoms for sale..
*pause*
kristen-heh..who the hell is she talking to?!
mandar-uh. i think shes talking to you!
*laughs hysterically*

yeah.. made them laugh! =)

you guys all know i'm still a kid.. it's not.. necessarily a bad thing

well.. i don't know what else to say.. i'm gonna go read.

do you wanna be somebody else?

2004-12-06T04:00:31Z

hey kids!!

i just got home from spending the day with "the family".. once again.

first i went shopping with my mom. i asked if we could go find some jeans or something somewhere. we went to target and i wanted to see if there was anything there by any chance of my liking.. i don't think that made sense but uhh yeah.. bare with me. nothing was there. yeah i tried on some jeans but i started crying.. i couldn't help it. hah. yeah yeah yeah.. i know what you're saying.. "shut up brielle you're not fat!" yeah well.. til the day i can actually see myself "skinny" i'll believe it. i know it gets annoying but i seriously don't like the way i am etc. anyhoodies!.. i told my mom i had to leave.. i told her the only jeans that fit me right are from pac sun and express.. it gets expensive.. that's the problem.. proves that i can't live on my own.. i'll need money. we went to express and i got a fleece shirt! it's blue and it's oh so comfy!! and two pairs of jeans --saweet! couldn't be more excited. we stopped by pac sun to pick up an application.. turning it in on the 22nd. can't wait for that either. then i had to help her get the presents my brother asked for.. so i easily found them since i knew what was what. andd we just.. left..

driving down 42 and stefan texts me asking if i was going to be home in time to go out with them. i said yeah actually i'll go pick up lauren and then get dropped off at denny's. so it was done andd lauren and i were the first ones there. we waited for pat, pothead, kristen, eric, and stefan. we all sat down and ate. i started getting sick.. started feeling very hot and i started crying.. i didn't know what was going on.. then i thought about it and my mom gave me this pill for my head and hips. they were hurting really bad before and i couldn't really walk without this look of pain on my face. damn month and fucking everything. ugh! very emotional and hurting... =(

afterwards we went to swing on the swings at bells school.. the po po came by and was very nice about it but asked us to leave. we were "decent" kids.. haha. we went to pat's house. pat put pierre on! twice! but of course the boys bad talked pierre... simple plan altogether. what losers for saying such things! haha i still love them!

yay for an extra day off.. not bad not bad. =)

goodnight kidsss!

01. Who are you, what's our relationship?:
02. How and where did we meet?:
03. How long have you known me?:
04. Tell me one good thing about myself?:
05. When you first saw me, what was your impression?:
06. My age:
07. Birthday:
08. My favorite band at the moment:
09. Color eyes:
10. Have you ever had a crush on me?:
11. What's one of my favorite things to do?:
12. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?:
13. Describe me in 3 words:
14. Name 5 things I love:
15. Do you think I'm good looking?:
16. How would you describe me to someone?:
17. Would you ever date me?:
18. Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
19. What do you like most about me?:
20. If we could spend a day together, what would we do?:
21. Have we ever gotten in a fight?:
22. Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?:
23. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:
24. What do you think my weakness is?:
25. Do you think I'll get married?:
26. What makes me happy?:
27. What makes me sad?:
28. What reminds you of me?:
29. If you could give me anything, what would it be?:
30. When's the last time you saw me?:
31. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?:
32. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?:
33. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?:
34. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?:
34. What song (if any) reminds you of me?:
35. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?:
36. Would you make a move on me?:
37. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day?:

i want a lifetime supply of skittles!!!

2004-12-05T17:59:32Z

rest in peace sam<3

i'm sitting here watching scooby doo with special guest-- simple plan!! =) how awesome... to me this is just.. amazing...

last night lauren and i last minute decided to go to rachel's. we got there and wasn't sure which house was hers... until we saw eric and stefan fighting out front.. yeah.. that must be it.. so when we got inside a couple kids were playing games and eating blow pops.. then they put on scary movie 1.. then jason got sick of it and put on scary movie 2.

i don't know what else to say.. i'm not in the mood for typing.. =/

some girls try to hard

2004-11-29T03:23:39Z

i saw the girls today.. we went to friendly's. amanda gave us some presents! ahha an early christmas! she juust came back from disney and spoiled us.. as always. once agian thank you very much babe.. i love youu!

tomorrow's school and personally... i'm ecstatic about it. i need to do things. i need to drop 4th pd. i need to see eric.

i evidently didn't do much today... a boring sunday.

i barely slept last night.. i was on the phone with amanda til 330. i couldn't fall asleep.. i was completely tired but i just wanted to go out and.. have fun! in philadelphia or new york city! or even just down the shore. god i miss it there. i thought about wildwood and amanda's shore house in cape may. i can't wait to go back. i miss the summer. i fell asleep really late and didn't sleep good... i kept waking up and everything... it's now 1009 and i'm ready to go to bed.. yeah.. that sounds great.. i'm done writing...

oh! but before i go.. look at the exciting news!!!!!!!!

romanticXscene: ahh BriElleEe!!
starcuttskiesx: hahahahaha!
starcuttskiesx: yeO whad up!?
romanticXscene: have you seen any target camercals lately?
starcuttskiesx: nope nopee
starcuttskiesx: why?
romanticXscene: ummm...
romanticXscene: the song in it is "joy to the world"...
romanticXscene: and it's a simple plan cover
romanticXscene: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
starcuttskiesx: OMFG
starcuttskiesx: omg
starcuttskiesx: are you seirous!!!!?
starcuttskiesx: OMGGGG
romanticXscene: yeah !!!
starcuttskiesx: PIERREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
romanticXscene: i was like i wonder if she knows
romanticXscene: yup!:-D:-D:-D
starcuttskiesx: aww thank you for telling me!!
starcuttskiesx: :-):-):-):-):-)
romanticXscene: you're VerYY welcome

ahahaha! thank you so much steph.. you know that made my night

i'm addicted to youuu!

2004-11-27T17:33:30Z

heyy kiddss!

(sorry i didn't keep up as always.)

i'm feeling muuch better from the previous entry. i'm alot better now-thank you God.

anyhoodies.. last night lauren, stefan, joe cangemi, and pat came over. we watched mean girls and drawn together. like always. haha. they left around 12 something.

i haven't seen eric in a week. he left last friday to virginia and he came back on thanksgiving but was grounded. : (
i miss him much. too much. i need to see his face! hopefully... somehow... today...<33333333

amanda left to florida and is coming back... i believe tonight! wooooo!! : )

hmmmmmmm... i don't know what to say! mmm life's good... write that down ; )

your sins into me... oh my beautiful one.

2004-11-17T07:43:17Z

heyy

off the pills... completely. sorry everyone for being so stubborn about it.

yeah so... i'm off the pills.. evidently something happened to me to all of a sudden change my mind about all of it. yeahh i'm sick... very much sick. sick to the point where i was literally praying to feel better. literally praying i was able to attend school the next day. i can't eat a damn thing nor can i drink. i get real sick and can't stop. maybe i deserve this for my hebetudinous misdeed. it doesn't help that i'm anemic so i'm very lightheaded and constantly shaking. god juust... i'd rather just... i don't even know... anything but this though. *holds side* fuuck.. i messed myself up pretty bad this time. heh. i don't know how to get myself out of this one. i need doctors help... seeing one soon. very soon.

haven't spoke to lauren alllllll dayy =(

i think lauren's pretty sick herself. i hope she's alright.
i heard kristen wasn't accounted for today in school.. she must be sick too.
i know steph went home early on monday... i hope she's alright as well...
haven't spoke to amanda or crystal.. wonder if they are hanging in there..

eric called today at 4am (like woah) and after school so he kept me company for a while. didn't wanna call lauren since her away message for hours said "nap" i didn't wanna disturb her... i'd feel bad. eric's leaving on friday to go to west virginia for 5 days... damn am i going to extremely miss him. </3

god i could definately go for a gargantuan thanksgiving dinner... with an enormous turkey and potatoes. oh my yummy to the tummyyyyyyyy!... i miss the asi's. heh.

sorry.. off track.. mmhmm...

i believe i need to go now... write whenev

one month todayy<3

hold me baby all through the night, oh baby...

2004-11-14T07:51:54Z

yesterday after school and drill i came home and slept from 430 til 630. i needed that. i didn't feel like getting up and already i was late for our little get together at jim's house. lauren called and assumed i was sleeping since i wasn't even signed on online and hasn't heard from me since drill. she told me to wake up and of course i was all like lerla 10 more minutes.. that's it.. juust 10? and nahh dude.. she told me to get up cause she knew i'd sleep forever more. i got up and started getting ready... i took a shower and blew dry my hair and then straightened it. applied the much needed makeup and left.

arrived at jim's house, said hey to everyone there and directly into eric's arms. i like i like. the kids there were... lauren, eric, stefan, pat, joey cangemi, pothead, mattchew (my son), rachel, ashley, jim himself, and me. had an awesome time as always with those kids. i love them very much. still being tired from my nap i fell asleep on eric and eventually he fell asleep too<3. everyone left around 11ish.

today i woke up pretty late. i was so exhausted i didn't wanna move from my bed. kept waking up then falling back to sleep. i woke up for about literally the 8th time to my brother not singing but screaming senses fail (one eight seven) in his room.. acting like the obnoxious dork he is. fuuck this i can't sleep much longer i thought. i got up, got cute, and started cleaning.

later lauren, stefan, pothead, joe cangemi, and i went to denny's! haha yes of course!! =)

jim showed up later later and we all left to go back to joe cangemi's house.

at joe's house eric showed up and so did this kid ryan. we all watched these weird shows and juust... talked. didn't go home til 12.

home now.. exhausted as i ever will be... thinking of biology and the time i have to do it... ehh... i hate this.

but it's time to die... you're worth more dead.

2004-11-12T05:03:21Z

hey kidss!

this week = horrible! the most emotional week i've had so far. everything agitated me... not doing good in my classes. failing 2 things... as i know of... =(

heh.. pathetic.. i know.

i hate rotc with a passion... why am i still in it? i have no idea. people talk to much and word gets around.. ehh.. pretty damn fast. so i'm sure every one of you will know why i hate it so fucking much. i'm very sure. =/

i saw eric today! =) onlyy for a bit though... *lowers head* i held him for a while and felt more secure than ever. he makes me too happy...

i love him.

lauren, stefan, matthew, pat, joey, and i all went to denny's (of course) and stayed there til about 8. had one of our favorite waitresses too! =)

*shakes head* nope.. mike wasn't working and i didn't call him this time. hah

but ben was working!

30 minutes! mmmm... my cake's done! gotta go

sick now

2004-11-09T11:41:22Z

yck... *sniiiiff* i can't breathe.

after school yesterday i went to drill... let's juust say... go sgt! hahahaha afterwards i came home and lauren came over of course and i sang to her once again.. later on we met up at friendly's with stefan... stayed there til about 8 or something. felt sick then. heard like i was sick. wanted to go to fucking bed early but i stayed up til 1230. what the hell...

back to school...

2004-11-08T04:46:32Z

overall this tiny vacation we all had was appealing. had lots of fun and did nothing but hang out with lauren (of course), eric, stefan, kristen, amanda, and the normal that's always over my house and one night alotttttt of kids at kanit's party.

//today was alright. woke up with the fever continuous from last night. barely ran. fell back to sleep. didn't do much at all.. sat outside with my brother, alex and sean for a bit. they had just came back from ian's house. mr. stout gave them three a cd he made with ian's voicemail from his cell phone on there and ian's favorite song. adam played it most of the day and so of course i cried.. alot.

//lauren came over around 4. i sang to her (like always) on the acoustic to random songs she was playing while she was doing my report for school. i kept holding it off. she offered to do it and i offered to pay her.

//mom decided she wanted to put the christmas tree up today.. uh yeah sure ma... i'll help. so yeah.. now there's a christmas tree already in my house. not complaining.. i love falling asleep to the lights and feeling of christmas almost being here. : )

//i didn't see eric today but i talked to him half the day on the phone... i see him tomorrow so it's alriight! : )

my head hurts as well as my back so i'm gonna go.. write later probably

you know i'd walk a thousand miles

2004-11-07T16:54:42Z

i wrote this 4 in the morning but it never let me update it. here it is..

hey kids!

*sigh* sorry for the delay.. once again. i'm not doing so great on keeping up with the journal this year. apologize to whoev cares enough to read or something. i keep the journal cause it helps me with some things... maybe that's a little weird but you know.. it is me so it's all good. : )

//yesterday was pretty fun! lauren, kristen, stefan and i went to denny's.. you know.. the usual ahha! we basically live there. mike wasn't working and i decided to call him.. heh... too many mike's in my cell phone and i got my two mike friends mixed up... i called my other friend mike and told him to get his ass in work.. he had no idea what the fuck i was talking about considering he didn't even work. i said "wait... what mike is this?" and it turned out to be not stoddard. haha. ironically stoddard did show up and he stayed with us and ate fries and all that good stuff.

//after denny's we met up with eric, joe cangemi, and chris mazure at chris's house. listened to music and watched without a trace. later on amanda came over! woo hoo! : ) went home at 11. the stars were juust amazing that night.

//today was an exciting day i guess you kids could say. i stayed up til 3 last night and woke up in the middle of the night for some reason and i looked at my cell phone for the time.. it said 5:55 but also a missed call from eric at 4:55. damn it... i wanted to talk to him! exactly an hour late! what the hell : ( he was up so early cause he went to west point in new york! (lucky lucky lucky.) for the air force/army football game. i wonder who won...

//i of couse went back to sleep shortly after i checked the time. i woke up at 7 and grabbed a sweatshirt and went for a run with lauren. ran for a while. lauren and i just relaxed for a bit and watched this movie called taking lives. angelina jolie was in it... she had sex in that movie! oh man oh man how original is that. i fell asleep for about a half hour.

//i kept procrastinating biology all day.. all week... heh. i gotta get two biggg reports done tomorrow. fhjkdbngjkafbdkgj i'm kicking myself in the ass. i shouldn't have done this. once again... i'm fucking stupid. lauren left after a bit. i started feeling real sick.. heh.. go figure! my last day of freedom and i get sick. *shakes head* fucking.. life. i basically layed in bed all day waiting for eric and the boys to get home. i fell asleep and over slept til 12. checked my phone cause it's a habit and had a text from stefan around 10. damn it.. once again i missed them! ugh. i went on the computer and saw eric on but away. no messages left either. i called eric and no answer... poor kid is probably so exhausted and i'm bothering him. i then went downstairs and watched the scarlet letter. great movie. i came up here in my room and messed with the journal.. obviously now i'm writing in it. didn't expect to write much but evidently i did.

//i'm still up. still feeling pretty nauseous and lightheaded. great way to end the break. i'm still running at 7 too. i'll be passed out early tomorrow night. *rubs eyes*

i hope to see eric and everyone tomorrow.

just like the lady in the blue dress.

2004-11-05T03:22:22Z

ahha! sorry i haven't updated.. it's been forever. much to say but don't have the time too..

//the boyfriend, eric, is great. treats me right and just... love him dearly. thought i'd never find someone like him. makes me smile all the time. he's just what i needed.<3

//the friends, buttercutters, haven't spoke much. miss them terribly. didn't lose eachother or the love... never going too either. the girls - except lauren and crystal : ( - stayed over amanda's on tuesday night. had fun.

//school has been... one hell of a year so far. it's the complete definition of why i hate township.. and why i think life is so unfair of course.. as we all know we lost a very great friend not too long ago. alot of kids cared for him... some didn't... we all know. i miss Ian terribly.. more than he could ever imagine. he's missed by everyone so greatly. i'll never forget the viewing either... kids said they've never seen me like that before... yeah... that bad. Alex stayed over last night and we were talking for a bit and we both started crying pretty hard. it's tough... it really is.

//ehh lerla.. i have no clue what to say now... write later... maybe

it's back to school

2004-10-12T04:05:52Z

//so my weekend was nothing but being sick and having to deal with drama. i wish i wasn't sick last week. i missed too much and i know i'm going to be coming back to so much homework. i'm back in drill team too. i missed quite a few tests/quizzes. siiittt sonn. : ( it's gonna be tough this week... doubt i'll be on the internet much.

//friday - my third day out of school and one of my friends eric had a birthday party/show type thinger. i didn't want to miss it... definately didn't wanna miss it. ; ) i knew almost everybody there so it was fun. i turned around and saw my brother... we had no idea we were going to the same place. ha so it was cool. some of the girls and i were there til about 1115. came home feelin' great... much better... and happy. <3? : )

//saturday - yay! it's techincally only friday. i just hung out with the kids again. i seriously don't remember anything on saturday... except the dallas game. they lost. horrible game they played... kinda disappointed but it's okayy. afterwardss lauren came over and we listened to music and were being our normal selves.

//sunday - heh. well "he" called my cell and i smiled much. *covers mouth with hand* and we were talking for a bit then he said he'd call me back... though he never did but it was good until this girl and one of my guy friends come running in my room and asking if she could stay there cause she was drunk. "yeah sure" i said thinking to myself... please don't let this be one of those nights... let's just say... wayyyyyy too much occured and all so sudden. nothing you'd ever expect. yeah... it wasn't one of "those nights" it was something worse. i never wanna have something like that happen again. it scared me half to death. too many tears that night. didn't sleep much and when i did sleep i'd always get up so therefore i didn't sleep well. : ( lauren, jamers, timmy, joey, and alex stayed over.

//monday - all the kids left. lauren left the latest... around 2. i then went to my mommy's and got abused by my obnoxious 3 year old brother... "my kid" i refer too. he was a terriorist today. i had to leave... though i felt bad for him but i couldn't stay there any longer. i was too tired and hardly got any sleep. the kid wouldn't let me sleep so i couldn't even nap or whatev. i came home at 10. it's so quiet... i loved it... i'm laying in my bed all comfy and smiling for i don't know what reason and i hear my older brother talking all loud and obnoxious and laughing and ugh... yeah... can't get away from it.

//tomorrow is retake picture day... yeah i needed to retake pictures this year. i hated them. what to wear what to wearrrrrrrrr. i also didn't study for anything and didn't do any homework i'm fucked. i had to collect like... 10 fucking leaves for this project due tomorrow. hah.. yeah.. like i really fucking did that : (

//i need sleep.

...

2004-10-09T04:07:18Z

whoaa.. =)

c'mon let me hold you
touch you
feel you
always
kiss you
taste you
all night
always...

<3<3<3

//i've got a crush on you.