it's just a shimmy and a shake uh huh! [07 Feb 2005|12:18am] [ mood | ecstatic/upset.. weird ] [ music | the killers-on top ] superbowl.. what an intense game.. i was too afriad to watch it-but i did. i am very impressed with the eagles on how far they've got and their job well done. can't wait to count how many pissed off kids in school tomorrow.. if they even go. i tried calling my dad. multiple times. two of the lines were "nonexsisting" anymore and the third (the cell) kept ringing.. i haven't heard from him since december and i'm almost positive i won't hear from him for a little bit longer. not only does that always happen but the eagles lost.. he probably went on a rampage and killed someone. he'd be too drunk to actually know what he was doing.. i went to amanda's for the game. it was just amanda, crystal, josh and me. usually alot of kids would go-but many issues were taking place in their lives. we didn't do much. i made brownies.. kinda and they ate them.. we took alot of pictures! i don't have any with me so i'll show them later. i went home around 11.. alot earlier than i expected. now since i'm bored and feel bad for all those eagles fans my mind is somewhere else. i hate nights like these where you just fucking cry yourself to sleep. it makes me so sick.     i am so fat. i look like i gained fucking 10 lbs. crash and burn

military ball [31 Jan 2005|06:39am] [ mood | wooo! ] [ music | mrbrightside ] it was awesome. :D i'm glad i asked christian to go with me. i'm glad lauren went this year... it was so much better. we all went to denny's afterwards. i came home around 230. i was completely exhausted. no drinking for us that night. we all passed out while we wondered where kristen went. she came back to my house at 4am. saturday i went to the mall and barnes and noble with the girls. didn't stay out that long. around 1140 i went to christian's house. mike was drunk.. it was too hilarious. we all talked and it was fun. :D i went home at 130. got to go.. i'll try to write later<3333 1 | crash and burn

darling you give loove a bad name. [17 Jan 2005|11:03pm] [ mood | happy yet tired. ] [ music | bon jovi/atreyu-bad name ] hey kidss i went to the mall today to find a dress for the military ball. i finally found one i kinda liked after hours and hours of looking and tears. tears cause the fat i have. i was dateless for a bit-twice. so i asked my friend christian. real sweet. he said yeah so i'm looking forward to spending the night with him. i'm sure it will be fun. :D must go now. too tired. chowxxx crash and burn

alright alrightttt. [07 Jan 2005|09:53pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | hoobastank<3 ] today was alright. that's all i have to say.     我愛你   (i love you) crash and burn

make my heart attack. [07 Jan 2005|06:22am] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | spitalfield<3 ] hey there. long time no write. alot has happened since the last entry. -shakes head- gawd yeah alot has happened then.. skip school.. who does that? psh, the girls and i are skipping today. i'm craving a certain food and i can't cook. gah. i'm making the girls cook for me. yeah, dude, they can cook.. if it's the morning.. i'm not sure if all of them are like amanda and falls asleep and burns the muffins. ah haha. amanda and i had a good laugh. good laugh. anyhoodies. write later. bye. 1 | crash and burn

in a dream my love.. you will find my heart<3 [22 Dec 2004|12:14pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | from first to last - note to self ] yesterday was my birthdayy!! =)  yeah i'm still sick and i'm out of school til the 3rd of January. i do miss it already. i went to the doctors yesterday and he gave me alot of medicine -makes face- ew. because of my mom and her big mouth she goes to the doctor "please tell her that she is not fat" ugh! yeah of course i started to cry... he thought i was bullemic - ahhh hahahahaa. no i'm sorry but i'd rather sit here and cry about my weight than to make myself sick and make me look even uglier. the medicine makes me so tired. it's ruining my days and nights. my mom mom gave me a ring with my birthstone and diamonds on the sides.. really cute. my brother gave me a card and sweaters with scarfs! =) and my mommy came over with my kid and stepdad. she gave me money and we had well they had cake... right after i blew the candles out my dad called. my heart just sank... i haven't heard his voice in... so long. holding back my tears i talked to him for about 20 minutes. alittle later lauren came over =)  i was so happy to finally see her.. it's been days! she made me an elmo at build a bear<3.. we sat down in my living room just talking about alot of things and what was going through our minds. my cell phone was upstairs and we heard it ring so we both went upstairs and i missed it but they called again. it was jason.. he said "are you going to answer your door anytime soon?" and i'm like "what?"... jason was outside my door with ajay and chris. we all kinda just hung out in my room then we went to wendys. i saw matthew!!!!!! and jamerssss!!! i was ecstatic. i came home around 1030 or something. little later sean stopped by and gave me a present. my birthday party isn't til after christmas.. it would've been too hectic.   i'll write about more later.. gotta go sorry 1 | crash and burn

this is side one, flip me over.. i know i'm not your favorite record [20 Dec 2004|07:17am] [ mood | kill me please. ] [ music | dead on arrival- fall out boyy ] life sucks. i'm still sick. last night i didn't get any sleep. i watched 3 movies- Harry Potter 3, Angels in the Outfield, and Rookie of the Year. afterwards i did laundry... got ecstatic to see all my express clothes. yeah i know.. i'm a dork for missing my clothes. but i just love them. it was about 415 when i came upstairs from drying my clothes and i had nothing to do except lay in the dark or go on the computer. russel was on so i talked to him til almost 5. i went back under my covers and laid there til it was time for school. i went to go straighten my hair and tried to get dressed etc. and i just didn't feel well.. my mommy called not too long after and said she's making an appointment for me. alright. doctor time.. thank god.. i think. i relaxed and talked to my two babies- lauren and eric til they had to leave me for school. i was commenting on lauren's journal when suddenly i felt this.. horrible feeling in my stomach and throat. yeah i got sick. enough already!!!! *cries*  i started shaking and now my head is throbbing. DAMN IT! what the fuck did i do to deserve being this sick? yeah i already know about dallas. why wouldn't i? i don't wanna hear it from you philadelphia fans. you know... you fucking KNOW dallas basically had that game. you fucking broke my heart philly. i wanted dallas to win for my birthday. </3 well.. tomorrow is my birthday. yay! i can tell it's not going to be a good one though... i'm sick as anything. =( i need to lay down again. write later-sorry 1 | crash and burn

i can't pick of the pieces. i've thrown my words all around.. i can't give you a reason. [16 Dec 2004|11:30pm] [ mood | sickk ] [ music | selena - dreaming of you ] still sick and stuck on antihistamine. sweet huh? yeahh riight. thank god for another comfy set of afjrotc sweat...wear. =)  and did you hear!? two chances of snow this weekend and next week. let's hope it snows much. a white birthday and a white christmas! oh! and let's go cowboys on the 19th eh? couldn't be a better birthday... hopefully i won't be sick though. we'll see, we'll see... yeah so.. i'm sure you kids heard about the solider who had his cousin shoot his leg or foot whatever it was so he didn't have to go back to iraq. what a dork. him and his cousin had two different stories... if you're gonna do something like that make sure you have the same story.. it ticks me off. i was just bitching to my mom about that not too long ago. ma said that the guy was probably in shock seeing his buddies get killed etc. and didn't wanna go back cause it was hard for him to take.. yeah well.. i'm a very emotional chick but i'd still go back if i was in shock or whatever... going into the service you're going to expect something like that... or at least from seeing this country the past years... some soldiers are only in the services for the benefits.. shouldn't that.. not be allowed?... in a way?... i don't know i give up talking about this. *hold head* ... what... a... dork. lerla.. i don't know what to say.. my mind has settled upon blankness. the remedy isn't really working-go figure.. right? the excruciating pain still flows around my eyes and ears. yeah i could easily request to be shot right now... preposterous thinking. my throat is swore and i can barely swallow.. as i stated in the before entry... it chokes me. yeah... there's lemon hot tea downstairs calling my name.. i'm gonna go talk to that shit. could possibly make me feel better. =) oh! by the way... christmas shopping is hell =/ 2 | crash and burn

note to self i miss you terriblyy. [16 Dec 2004|02:34pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | all american rejects - time stands still ] so i'm home sick. what the hell. i hate it. i can't eat cause i can't swallow... not only does it hurt but it chokes me. yeah.. whatever. my head is still killing me and all i've been doing is taking medicine.. to much antihistamine... always sleeping. i got my new cell phone. i love it. it's a flippy.. i thought i'd never decide to get one of them. it's a color screen and i downloaded "addicted" as my ring tone. i'm all set<3 5 more days<3 9 more days</3............. yeah.. christmas is basically here... yay i guess. not to ecstatic for it this year.. or any year of that matter... many reasons why. i don't wanna say publicly. i miss the summer.. alot... </33 i need another nap... here's 2 surveys i did from boredom...   ( two long surveys... ) crash and burn

he whispers that he loves her but she's probably only looking for sss [13 Dec 2004|11:35pm] [ mood | antihistamine-d ] [ music | simple plan-when i'm with you<3 ] i'm looking for backstage passes to a Simple Plan concert for me and 3 other kids.. if you see any PLEASE let me know. please. i passed out pretty early last night.. took medicine with antihistamine in it and it knocked me out. woke up this morning late and i had to rush to get ready.. ugh i hate that. came into school and wished i stayed home. wasn't feelin' too great. i stayed there til about 4.. i had detention.. saw that whore.. said something to her and left. no i'm not done with her. she's gonna hear it from me later. i came home and went to my cell phone place to get a new phone.. they closed the store down.. alright.. gotta wait for tomorrow then.. i really didn't feel like going all the way to deptford at that time. i needed medicine and it was freezing outside. it pissed me off. yeah.. anyhoodies.. didn't do much today.. i did this survey thinger.. it's long.. i didn't think too much about it.. i'll do one later that's more.. exact and shit. but i gotta go.. the meds are whoa-ing me.   ( the long survey thingerr! ) crash and burn

first comes heavy breathingg [12 Dec 2004|01:51am] [ mood | ecstatic/exhausted ] [ music | simple plan-addicted<3 ] today was awesome. lauren, kristen, steph, and i went to the motion city soundtrack concert this afternoon in south philly. twas very awesome. =)  the girls and i of course went crazy. i hurt my arm.. so now my whole arm hurts! before only a part of it hurt where stefan bit me. hah. anyhoodies. my cell phone was.. well.. let's just say that the cell phone itself moshed. =/  it is alright though! i just took my chip and put it into my moms phone until later today.. i'll be getting a new phone! =)  back to the story-afterwards we went walking and shopping on south st. and then just left. i made them listen to simple plan on the way there and back.. 2 and a half times we listened to the whole cd. great? yeah i know! pierre<333 we went to denny's with the boys and came back to my house. we watched of course what we only watch.. mean girls and drawn together. they left pretty early.. around 11ish. alyssa (my brother's girlfriend) moved in tonight. she just settled down. my brother had a bad day today so i was hugging him for a while. i'm talking about a whole bunch of stuff.. i apologize. i'm too hyper over nothing but every other second i'm exhausted.. it's weird.. yeah i'm gonna.. like.. go.. hahaahahahahahaha.. write later           no i'm not drunk tonight crash and burn

come stand a little bit closer-breathe in and get a bit higher [06 Dec 2004|10:16pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | simple plan-perfect ] so today was "the sunday" before school started again.. very boring and feeling sick of the week that finally just past. yeah alot of bad things happened but i'd say that the good out done it. =)   good.. eh? yeah perfect. i'm sitting here on the phone with kristen and mandar and kristen kept saying "hold on" and she'd click over but kept getting us.. so just being.. you know.. the normal stupid self- i pretended to be someone random.. i couldn't think of anything to say before i opened my mouth.. i said what came to my mind that second.. i was also choking on my words i don't even know why i kept talking but yeah.. anyhoodies.. here it is.. me-hi my name is courtney from shoprite i'm just calling to tell you that um..uh..we have uh..condoms for sale.. *pause* kristen-heh..who the hell is she talking to?! mandar-uh. i think shes talking to you! *laughs hysterically* yeah.. made them laugh! =) you guys all know i'm still a kid.. it's not.. necessarily a bad thing well.. i don't know what else to say.. i'm gonna go read. 1 | crash and burn

do you wanna be somebody else? [05 Dec 2004|11:00pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | simple plan-welcome to my life ] hey kids!! i just got home from spending the day with "the family".. once again. first i went shopping with my mom. i asked if we could go find some jeans or something somewhere. we went to target and i wanted to see if there was anything there by any chance of my liking.. i don't think that made sense but uhh yeah.. bare with me. nothing was there. yeah i tried on some jeans but i started crying.. i couldn't help it. hah. yeah yeah yeah.. i know what you're saying.. "shut up brielle you're not fat!" yeah well.. til the day i can actually see myself "skinny" i'll believe it. i know it gets annoying but i seriously don't like the way i am etc. anyhoodies!.. i told my mom i had to leave.. i told her the only jeans that fit me right are from pac sun and express.. it gets expensive.. that's the problem.. proves that i can't live on my own.. i'll need money. we went to express and i got a fleece shirt! it's blue and it's oh so comfy!! and two pairs of jeans --saweet! couldn't be more excited. we stopped by pac sun to pick up an application.. turning it in on the 22nd. can't wait for that either. then i had to help her get the presents my brother asked for.. so i easily found them since i knew what was what. andd we just.. left.. driving down 42 and stefan texts me asking if i was going to be home in time to go out with them. i said yeah actually i'll go pick up lauren and then get dropped off at denny's. so it was done andd lauren and i were the first ones there. we waited for pat, pothead, kristen, eric, and stefan. we all sat down and ate. i started getting sick.. started feeling very hot and i started crying.. i didn't know what was going on.. then i thought about it and my mom gave me this pill for my head and hips. they were hurting really bad before and i couldn't really walk without this look of pain on my face. damn month and fucking everything. ugh! very emotional and hurting... =( afterwards we went to swing on the swings at bells school.. the po po came by and was very nice about it but asked us to leave. we were "decent" kids.. haha. we went to pat's house. pat put pierre on! twice! but of course the boys bad talked pierre... simple plan altogether. what losers for saying such things! haha i still love them! yay for an extra day off.. not bad not bad. =)   goodnight kidsss!     ( do it do it!? ) 1 | crash and burn

i want a lifetime supply of skittles!!! [05 Dec 2004|12:29pm] [ mood | ehh.. ] [ music | simple plan on scooby doo!!!!! =) ] rest in peace sam<3   i'm sitting here watching scooby doo with special guest-- simple plan!! =)  how awesome... to me this is just.. amazing... last night lauren and i last minute decided to go to rachel's. we got there and wasn't sure which house was hers... until we saw eric and stefan fighting out front.. yeah.. that must be it.. so when we got inside a couple kids were playing games and eating blow pops.. then they put on scary movie 1.. then jason got sick of it and put on scary movie 2. i don't know what else to say.. i'm not in the mood for typing.. =/ crash and burn

some girls try to hard [28 Nov 2004|10:20pm] [ mood | exhaustedd ] [ music | a random blink 182 cd ] i saw the girls today.. we went to friendly's. amanda gave us some presents! ahha an early christmas! she juust came back from disney and spoiled us.. as always. once agian thank you very much babe.. i love youu! tomorrow's school and personally... i'm ecstatic about it. i need to do things. i need to drop 4th pd. i need to see eric. i evidently didn't do much today... a boring sunday. i barely slept last night.. i was on the phone with amanda til 330. i couldn't fall asleep.. i was completely tired but i just wanted to go out and.. have fun! in philadelphia or new york city! or even just down the shore. god i miss it there. i thought about wildwood and amanda's shore house in cape may. i can't wait to go back. i miss the summer. i fell asleep really late and didn't sleep good... i kept waking up and everything... it's now 1009 and i'm ready to go to bed.. yeah.. that sounds great.. i'm done writing... oh! but before i go.. look at the exciting news!!!!!!!! romanticXscene: ahh BriElleEe!! starcuttskiesx: hahahahaha! starcuttskiesx: yeO whad up!? romanticXscene: have you seen any target camercals lately? starcuttskiesx: nope nopee starcuttskiesx: why? romanticXscene: ummm... romanticXscene: the song in it is "joy to the world"... romanticXscene: and it's a simple plan cover romanticXscene: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! starcuttskiesx: OMFG starcuttskiesx: omg starcuttskiesx: are you seirous!!!!? starcuttskiesx: OMGGGG romanticXscene: yeah !!! starcuttskiesx: PIERREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE romanticXscene: i was like i wonder if she knows romanticXscene: yup!:-D:-D:-D starcuttskiesx: aww thank you for telling me!! starcuttskiesx: :-):-):-):-):-) romanticXscene: you're VerYY welcome ahahaha! thank you so much steph.. you know that made my night crash and burn

i'm addicted to youuu! [27 Nov 2004|12:06pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | simple plan<3 ] heyy kiddss! (sorry i didn't keep up as always.) i'm feeling muuch better from the previous entry. i'm alot better now-thank you God. anyhoodies.. last night lauren, stefan, joe cangemi, and pat came over. we watched mean girls and drawn together. like always. haha. they left around 12 something. i haven't seen eric in a week. he left last friday to virginia and he came back on thanksgiving but was grounded. : ( i miss him much. too much. i need to see his face! hopefully... somehow... today...<33333333 amanda left to florida and is coming back... i believe tonight! wooooo!! : ) hmmmmmmm... i don't know what to say! mmm life's good... write that down ; ) 1 | crash and burn

your sins into me... oh my beautiful one. [17 Nov 2004|02:45am] [ mood | siiiick =( ] [ music | afi - silver and cold ] heyy off the pills... completely. sorry everyone for being so stubborn about it. yeah so... i'm off the pills.. evidently something happened to me to all of a sudden change my mind about all of it. yeahh i'm sick... very much sick. sick to the point where i was literally praying to feel better. literally praying i was able to attend school the next day. i can't eat a damn thing nor can i drink. i get real sick and can't stop. maybe i deserve this for my hebetudinous misdeed. it doesn't help that i'm anemic so i'm very lightheaded and constantly shaking. god juust... i'd rather just... i don't even know... anything but this though. *holds side* fuuck.. i messed myself up pretty bad this time. heh. i don't know how to get myself out of this one. i need doctors help... seeing one soon. very soon. haven't spoke to lauren alllllll dayy =( i think lauren's pretty sick herself. i hope she's alright. i heard kristen wasn't accounted for today in school.. she must be sick too. i know steph went home early on monday... i hope she's alright as well... haven't spoke to amanda or crystal.. wonder if they are hanging in there.. eric called today at 4am (like woah) and after school so he kept me company for a while. didn't wanna call lauren since her away message for hours said "nap" i didn't wanna disturb her... i'd feel bad. eric's leaving on friday to go to west virginia for 5 days... damn am i going to extremely miss him. </3 god i could definately go for a gargantuan thanksgiving dinner... with an enormous turkey and potatoes. oh my yummy to the tummyyyyyyyy!... i miss the asi's. heh. sorry.. off track.. mmhmm... i believe i need to go now... write whenev one month todayy<3 3 | crash and burn

hold me baby all through the night, oh baby... [14 Nov 2004|02:52am] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | the beach boys ] yesterday after school and drill i came home and slept from 430 til 630. i needed that. i didn't feel like getting up and already i was late for our little get together at jim's house. lauren called and assumed i was sleeping since i wasn't even signed on online and hasn't heard from me since drill. she told me to wake up and of course i was all like lerla 10 more minutes.. that's it.. juust 10? and nahh dude.. she told me to get up cause she knew i'd sleep forever more. i got up and started getting ready... i took a shower and blew dry my hair and then straightened it. applied the much needed makeup and left. arrived at jim's house, said hey to everyone there and directly into eric's arms. i like i like. the kids there were... lauren, eric, stefan, pat, joey cangemi, pothead, mattchew (my son), rachel, ashley, jim himself, and me. had an awesome time as always with those kids. i love them very much. still being tired from my nap i fell asleep on eric and eventually he fell asleep too<3. everyone left around 11ish. today i woke up pretty late. i was so exhausted i didn't wanna move from my bed. kept waking up then falling back to sleep. i woke up for about literally the 8th time to my brother not singing but screaming senses fail (one eight seven) in his room.. acting like the obnoxious dork he is. fuuck this i can't sleep much longer i thought. i got up, got cute, and started cleaning. later lauren, stefan, pothead, joe cangemi, and i went to denny's! haha yes of course!! =) jim showed up later later and we all left to go back to joe cangemi's house. at joe's house eric showed up and so did this kid ryan. we all watched these weird shows and juust... talked. didn't go home til 12. home now.. exhausted as i ever will be... thinking of biology and the time i have to do it... ehh... i hate this. crash and burn

but it's time to die... you're worth more dead. [11 Nov 2004|11:44pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | senses fail<3 ] hey kidss! this week = horrible! the most emotional week i've had so far. everything agitated me... not doing good in my classes. failing 2 things... as i know of... =( heh.. pathetic.. i know. i hate rotc with a passion... why am i still in it? i have no idea. people talk to much and word gets around.. ehh.. pretty damn fast. so i'm sure every one of you will know why i hate it so fucking much. i'm very sure. =/ i saw eric today! =)   onlyy for a bit though... *lowers head* i held him for a while and felt more secure than ever. he makes me too happy... i love him. lauren, stefan, matthew, pat, joey, and i all went to denny's (of course) and stayed there til about 8. had one of our favorite waitresses too! =) *shakes head* nope.. mike wasn't working and i didn't call him this time. hah but ben was working! 30 minutes! mmmm... my cake's done! gotta go crash and burn

sick now [09 Nov 2004|06:28am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | ashlee simpson ] yck... *sniiiiff* i can't breathe. after school yesterday i went to drill... let's juust say... go sgt! hahahaha afterwards i came home and lauren came over of course and i sang to her once again.. later on we met up at friendly's with stefan... stayed there til about 8 or something. felt sick then. heard like i was sick. wanted to go to fucking bed early but i stayed up til 1230. what the hell... crash and burn

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